What am I waiting for?
by IamEnVIOUS
Summary: Tobi's on a quest to find the perfect woman for him. A/U. Slight crossover(s).
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.

"Explain it to me again Kakazu." said everyone's favorite masochist.

"We have to find new replacements. That was Pein's orders."

Hidan groaned," Right when I was going on a killing spree in the name of my lord."

Kakaazu rolled his eyes," _I don't want to hear anything about that pseudo God of yours Hidan."_

_"Again with the blasphemy of my religion." _Hidan grumbled.

Kakazu would have said more if there wasn't a fight going on. Scratch that- a war.

'Give it up homunculus." scoffed Roy Mustang. Envy narrowed his eyes," You think you got us beat? Think again you fool. Now!"

Explosions went off and the concrete beneath them(Hidan and Kakazu) and Roy fell to his feet.

Lust emerged out of nowhere, swinging her ultimate spear at the uniformed men." Miss me Gene?" she addressed her ex boyfriemd.

" No, not really. I was considering introducing you to my mom before I knew the truth." said the sandy blonde male.

"Don't kid yourself." Lust said smugly.

Gene shot at her, Lust laughed," Was that supposed to kill me?"

They stared at each other until Hidan waved," Hey! You with the tattoo!"

Lust glanced at him," What is it? Can you see I'm a little busy?"

Hidan gushed," You have to be sadistic right?"

This threw her for a loop," You can't be serious. I'm going to kill my ex boyfriend."

Roy struck her in the back," You talk too much."

Lust pulled out the dagger," You have no chance on winning and you don't know how to treat a lady."

Roy scoffed," I don't see a lady." his voice venomous." You killed my best friend."

"That was Envy." Lust corrected.

Before another word was exchanged, Hidan again interjected," Doll, let me help you kill this guy."

Lust studied him," Fine."

Stepping back and letting Hidan do his thing-whatever that was. Hidan swung his scythe, cutting Roy's hand, and tasting his blood.

Roy Mustang didn't have a chance.

Lust's eyes widened at the sight," You did it." her voice low and soft.

"Yeah, it's all because of my lord Jashin." Hidan boasted proudly.

Envy popped out of nowhere," Great, our enemy is dead. Can we go now?" grabbing Lust's wrist, dragging her away.

"Wait! Envy!"

The sin of jealousy turned his head," What is it?" he referred to the silver haired Hidan.

"Leave her with me."

Envy's eyes shone with slight curiosity and anger," Why should I?"

"Because she bears the symbol of my lord." Hidan explained. Envy smirked, revealing his tattoo on his right thigh," So do I."

Retreating with her," I'm going with you."

"Huh?" Envy quizzed.

"You heard me shorty." Hidan stated comically. Envy glared at him." Fine, but if you call me freak, I will kill you."

"I can't die. I'm immortal."

"Bullshit. No one's immortal."

"Envy," said Lust," We are immortal as well. Did you forget?"

Envy reddened, " No!...let's just go."

* * *

"We're back Father." Envy announced," We lost a prime sacrifice all thanks to him."

"Father's dead." Gluttony replied sadly.

"Then what are you doing here fat ass?" Envy glowered.

"Waiting for Lust. Wrath, Pride, Sloth and Greed left."

"I see." said Envy, now bored," Well, Lust, what are you going to do now that Father is gone?"

"Your old man is gone and you don't miss him?"

"No silver haired fox." Envy answered dully," So Lust, will you stay or go?"

"Staying with you will be misleading. " she replied." I'm leaving."

"Well, fine old hag! Let's go Gluttony."

"Okay!"

"Are you sure about this?" Hidan asked.

"I can take care of myself." Lust answered," let's go."

"Later Envy." Hidan smirked.

"Huh." Envy said bitterly," Have fun having sloppy seconds."

Lust glared daggers at him," You just had to go there."

Envy grinned mechanically," He might as well know the truth...that I tapped that."

"You -"

"Watch what you say Lust." Envy cackled.

"I hate you."

"Love you too, compare us and see who's better." Envy grinned.

"Get out of my face."

Envy turned and left," You know where to find m-"

He was stabbed in the shoulder," Go away."

"Fine."

Hidan blinked," What was that about?"

"Nothing." said Lust." Let's go."

"Sure thing babe."

* * *

"You got a beautiful woman Hidan san." said Tobi," Can Tobi have her for one night?"

"Hell no! Go find your own woman Tobi."

"But tonight is Tobi's birthday."

Hidan scoffed, " I don't care if your last day on earth, you are not having her!"

"Pleaaaaaassssssseeeee Hidan san?"

"I said no Tobi!"

A hour later of pleases and nos...until finally...

"Let him have one night ." grumbled Kakazu," None of us can't relax until you say yes Hidan."

"Why not Konan?"

"Leader sama will kill Tobi."

"And you think I won't ?" Hidan asked." Go find your own Tobi."

"...Fine, Tobi will then."

**This was supposed to be a oneshot, but now I'm getting ideas...who will Tobi choose? leave a review and drop a name on you think will be good for this story.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"I will go far and wide to find the perfect woman for Tobi." using his teleportation jutsu to Resenbool.

(It's my story.)

Tobi was smack dab in the countryside. No sign of any girls. Perhaps he should head to the housing area. Poofing away to a neighboring residential area.

Colliding in the blonde haired Winry." Oof!"

Tobi was quick to his feet, "Tobi's sorry, he didn't see...you...are pretty."

Winry blushed," Thank you." getting up and dusting off her black skirt." You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, Tobi's on a quest to find the perfect woman."

"Well, keep looking." Edward scoffed," She's not interested _pal."_

_"Edward, he's not hurting anyone."_ Winry reprimanded him," Sorry about that."

The two blondes left, Winry scolding her boyfriend. Tobi decided to follow them, primarily interested in the blonde female.

It didn't take long for Edward to notice Tobi shadowing them." Get out of here!"

Tobi jumped behind Winry, gripping her shoulders, feigning scared." Edward! Apologize for your rude behavior!"

Edward rolled his eyes," He's obviously faking!"

Winry glared at him," Even if he's _faking...you should still apologize!"_

"Why should I?" Edward countered." Just do it!" Winry scolded, folding her arms.

"Fine! I'm sorry whoever you are!"

"My name is Tobi and okay." grabbing Winry on impulse and kissing her lips before releasing her.

"Oh wow..." she gushed.

Edward glared at his romantic rival," Get out of here!" kicking him with his automailed leg. Winry cried out in horror. "Edward!"

Running to the fallen Tobi, helping him up," Will you like to get out of here? Suddenly it's too hostile here."

"Where are you taking Tobi pretty girl?"

"Call me Winry and I'm taking you to a dance club if you like."

"Tobi likes to dance."

* * *

"I'm going to get us some drinks." Winry offered after a few rounds of dancing, leaving him seated at a table.

Looking around he saw Envy getting...drunk.

"Hey! Who wants to hug me?" Envy managed to slur and somehow Tobi understood him perfectly." I do!" Tobi cheered.

Envy slowly walked to him, his eyes glazed," You remind me of a pump..kiln...whoooo!"

The green haired sin suddenly became affectionate," Will you be my friend?" Envy asked tearfully.

"Sure, Tobi will be your friend and together we will find women for us."

Envy grinned," We sure are." hiding a sinister grin while Tobi marched ahead.

"What kind of girl are you looking for huh?" Envy asked.

"Tobi is not picky but she has to be loyal to Tobi."

Winry waved him over," Tobi, I been looking for you."

Envy blinked," Her? Your date is Winry Rockbell?" Tobi blinked," You know her?"

"Yeah, I know her...the fullmetal pipsqueak's girlfriend is with you?" Envy asked, amused by the turn of events.

"Hardly, " said Winry," we're just dancing."

Envy raised a eyebrow, sobering up" Oh? What did Edward say?"

Winry frowned," What you expect." her eyes cast down," I should go."

She was about to leave when she was pulled and face to face and her lips collided with Tobi's own...and guess who saw.

"Winry! How could you!" Edward accused.

Winry pulled away," Edward! Wait!" The blonde male dismissed her." I don't want to hear it!"

"But..."

Edward retreated and Winry went after him, " Just listen to me!"

Stopping in his tracks, motioning her over to a table. Tobi watched her explain, reading her lips. Edward forgave her.

He would have to try harder to win her from him now that he had a taste of her cherry glossed lips.

Divide and conquer - that was the key.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Heading back to the mysterious Envy," Tobi will need your help."

"What's it in for me?" Envy asked.

"What do you want from Tobi?" the masked man asked, suddenly getting a idea. " You can see my face."

Envy rolled his eyes," I don't care what your face looks like," slamming down a shot of whiskey," Tell you what, I'll do it on the condition that it will upset the pipsqueak." leaning closer to Tobi," I'm going to tell you a secret...I'm a shape shifter."

"Prove it to Tobi."

Envy transformed to a perfect replica of Winry," Believe me now?"

Tobi nodded," Tobi believes you. Change back and what is your name?"

"Envy." his green hair returning," Let's get out of here." losing his footing and crashing down to the floor and muttered obscenities.

Tobi giggled," You remind Tobi of Hidan."

"Hidan? The one who stole Lust from me?" Envy reddened with anger.

Tobi smiled behind the mask," Anger is good motivation."

Envy blinked then blushed," I'm not angry! He can have her."

Tobi continued to smile unnoticed by the sin," Come with Tobi." he coaxed him.

"Fine. Where are we going?"

"To find Winry, you know where she lives right?"

Envy nodded." She's staying at the hotel across the street."

* * *

Winry was about to head to bed when she heard someone knocking on her door." Who is it?"

"Tobi and Envy."

The door opened and Winry stepped out in her nightgown." I was about to go to bed."

"Tobi's sorry to do this...well, not really." he pushed his way in," Envy copy Winry."

"You can't be serious!"

"Do it for Tobi." the Uchiha coaxed.

"Fine!" the transformation was done," Go to his room and break them up. I'll keep Winry company."

"What? You can't!" she pleaded.

"Watch me." said 'Winry' as she marched out of the room while Tobi held the original by her wrists, ensuring she wasn't going anywhere.

The door closed and poor Winry was in the grace of the slightly older Uchiha.

Pulling her to face him and freeing one hand, lifting his mask off and claiming her lips once more...

* * *

'Winry' knocked on Edward's door," Ed, I want to break up with you."

'Her' blue eyes staring at his golden ones," I met someone more inter-" the door slammed in 'her' face." Wish granted!"

Envy changed back and headed back to the room, re entering it," Mission accomplished."

Tobi pulled away from the blonde beauty," Excellent."

Winry blinked, reality set in," What? You broke us up?" her voice breaking.

Tobi hugged her tightly," Don't cry my blonde angel." stroking her hair," I will take you out of here." summoning some clones," Get her things ."

Scooping her in his arms," Let's go Envy."

"Sure."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:I own nothing.

**Thanks go out to jojo3110 and Kitty Uzumaki for your encouragement and reviews.^^**

"So where are you taking me?" Winry inquired.

"To the Akatsuki base." Tobi answered.

"Oh and what about you Envy?" Winry asked." I'm going with you."

Tobi glanced at the sin," But your former lover is there."

"So?" Envy shot back," I don't care what she does." still bitter over the fact he lost her to Hidan.

Tobi nods," You'll find someone."

"I don't need your pity." Envy countered.

They had to admit Envy had a chip on his shoulders...which was to be expected. He still had some lingering feelings for Lust otherwise he wouldn't still be upset.

"Hope it falls off."

Winry tightened her grip on Tobi's neck," Poor guy."

* * *

"We're back leader sama!" Tobi sang.

"Welcome back," said Pain," I see there is a couple of new additions to the Akatsuki's roster." Who are they?"

"Winry Rockbell and Envy." replied the blonde.

"Charmed." Pain said cooily," Tobi, a word." beckoning the raven haired male.

Winry couldn't hear what they were saying, all she could make out was "She can stay but what him?"

"What about him?" Pain inquired.

" Can we let him stay?" Tobi asked," Envy is a shape shifter. He's awesome leader sama."

"Fine, since you highly recommend him Tobi." said Pain." Show me."

"Impressive."

"Thanks and this cloak looks good on me." Envy praised. He was okay until he saw Hidan and Lust in a heated make out session.

Envy turned around, grumbling and whining...and walked right into Zetsu.

"Watch it."

**"He should apologize for his rudeness."**

Envy frowned," I'm sorry I came here." he marched on, only to be stopped in his tracks..._again._

_"Why should I stay here huh?"_

"Because the Akatsuki could use a talent of like yours." said Pein," even though we have the ability to produce clones."

"Well, I'm going to take Winry to my room now." said Tobi.

"That can wait Tobi." said Pain," summon the others."

"Okaaay Tobi understands." putting Winry down.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer:I own nothing.

**Thanks go out to jojo3110 and Kitty Uzumaki for your encouragement and reviews.^^**

**"Why can't we eat her?"**

Winry stiffened at the black Zetsu's sentence," You're really not going to eat me are you?"

"No, Tobi forbade us to do that." white Zetsu replied.

Breathing a sigh of relief," Good. I'm starting to understand all of you."

White Zetsu showed no interest in her statement." We're going out for food."

Winry was left alone with Konan and Pein, who were lost in their own world, making googly eyes at each other.

* * *

"Do you think Winry chan misses Tobi?"

Deidara rolled his eyes, "How should I know un? And why did you get such a beautiful babe like her un?"

Tobi grinned behind the mask," Is senpai jealous?"

"No un!" Deidara lied.

* * *

"We're back." said Zetsu.

"That was quick." Winry replied." Yes, well we found a dog sniffing around." said the plant man.

"_You ate someone's pet dog?" _

"And he was delicious." Zetsu belched out a collar.

"Poor thing. When will Tobi be back?"

Zetsu responded," Ten days."

Winry nodded, " Well, I guess I'll head to my room now."

"Alright." Zetsu replied, watching her leave.

Pein pulled away from his lover," We have a extra cloak for her don't we my sugar paper?"

"I believe so. Want me to give it to her?"

"I'll do it." Pein offered.

Winry heard a knock on her door, opening it and greeted by Pein," You are now officially a member of the Akatsuki." handing her the ring and cloak.

"Thank you."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer:I own nothing.

**Thanks go out to jojo3110 and Kitty Uzumaki for your encouragement and reviews.^^**

"You're back!" Winry exclaimed, hugging the masked man.

Tobi grinned behind the mask, while Deidara grunted. His hand slightly extended...caressing her behind.

Winry jumped. Deidara _quickly _disappeared.

The blonde female looked around, "Something wrong Winry chan?" Tobi inquired.

"...No...guess it was a breeze." dismissing it." I missed you."

"Aww, Tobi missed you too. Let Tobi tell you about the mission."

* * *

Deidara sighed with relief, removing his hair accessory and face camera as he returned to his room.

Turning a corner , he saw a enticing opportunity._ Lust in a towel._

"Hey un." he greeted, his face red.

Lust looked up," Like what you see?" her eyes scanning him.

"I would be lying if I said no un and a certain death if Hidan were to find out."

Lust smiled coyly," Do you see Hidan here?"

Deidara blushed," No un."

"Come here." Lust smiled, approaching him," meet me halfway."

Deidara gulped, 'You only live once un.'

* * *

"...and that is how Tobi and senpai won over the tailed beast."

"I see." said Winry.

Tobi quietly shut the door," Want to see Tobi's face?"

Winry smiled and nodded." I sure would." sitting on the bed.

Tobi unveiled his face and quickly approached her, leaning over her form. " We're alone my dear."

Winry blushed, getting his message." And what happens now?"

"I think you know." his hand caressing her inner thigh.

"Oooohhh..."

"Exactly." his finger inserting her womanhood.

* * *

"Here we are in my room." said Lust, removing Deidara's cloak.

"Why are you doing this un?" Deidara inquired," Is Hidan your boyfriend?"

"No. Now stop talking. " Lust barked." Sorry un."

Piece by piece his clothes came off, the towel dropping to the floor," Ready stud?"

Deidara slowly nodded, his mind racing. Will he get caught? He hoped not.

Lust caressed his chest as she got in position," You will be my first and you better believe it."

"I'm your first?" Deidara quizzed.

Lust nodded," Just because I look like a pinup doesn't mean I spread my legs open for every man I've seen."

Deidara smiled," Lucky me un." his hands reaching up and his hand mouths licking her chest.

"That tickles."

* * *

Winry gasped louder when she felt a second digit enter her."...To...bi.."

"Call me Obito."

"Okay...Obito..." Winry repeated, her leg shifting, showing arousal.

Obito grinned, pulling her closer to him, released her from his grasp, getting a whimper of disappointment.

"Sorry my dear." Obito apologized, removing her clothes before his own.

Gingerly placing Winry back in his arms, he kissed her once more before entering her.

Winry held his shoulders, her body tightening." Relax and the pain will subside." Obito assured her.

"Okay."

* * *

"This feels good un."

Lust smiled," It sure does, and I read a book on karma sultra in your absence."

"Really un? Never pictured you a book worm."

Lust smiled," You don't know me that well. I love knowledge , it has it's benefits."

"So are we friends with benefits un?"

"That's up to you."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.

_"You were wonderful Deidara." _Lust praised, getting her towel, wrapping her towel around herself.

Deidara blinked, watching her," Are we a item un?"

Lust approached him, kissing his forehead," I will have to talk to Hidan. Don't worry I won't mention you. Clean up."

Deidara nodded, grabbing his things.

As soon as he left the room fully dressed and Lust disappeared somewhere, he saw Hidan frowning.

"What's wrong Hidan un?"

"Fucking Kakazu...I want another partner. I'm sick of him."

Deidara sighed, relieved." So un, how was the mission?"

"It went fine, just sick of Kakazu. Have you seen Lust? I could use her company right now."

"Haven't seen her un." Deidara replied, playing it cool." I'm off to my room un."

Hidan watched him walk away," Something happened while I was gone?"

Deidara stopped in his tracks," No un." walking to his room.

* * *

Winry snuggled with Obito," That was a memorable experience." rubbing his chest.

"It was." Obito grinned, caressing her skin with his thumb.

Winry smiled, her eyes closing as she drifted off to sleep, her hair freshly showered. "Good night Obito."

"Good night Winry."

* * *

Back to Hidan*

He walked to his room, seeing Envy sitting on his bed." What are you doing in my room?"

"Something happened while you were gone, Winry hooked up with Tobi. Can you believe that?"

"And why are you in my room?" Hidan repeated.

Envy frowned," Fine, I'm leaving, but he wasn't the only one who got lucky."

Hidan blinked," What does that supposed to mean?"

"Figure it out." Envy hissed, marching off.

Lust approached Hidan at Envy's departure," What was that about?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"Well, I have something to tell you."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"What is it babe?" Hidan asked.

"_Something did happen...I want to be friends." _Lust replied.

"Friends?...yeah_ sure."_ Hidan said, waving his hand," Get out of my face."

Lust nodded, "Sorry things didn't work out between us."

"Me too."

Deidara watched Lust walk away, playing the role of a concerned friend," You okay Hidan?"

"Yeah.. I just thought I had finally found the one."

Deidara nodded absent mindly," There are other fish in the sea un."

Hidan sighed," Not like her,"

Deidara felt a little guilty on what he did._ Almost._

Leaving the base behind, following Lust and finding her memorizing," I could follow you anywhere."

* * *

"Wake up Winry," coaxed Obito.

Clear baby blues open, "Good morning Obito."

"Let's get something to eat and you can tell me where you're from."

Winry nodded," Sure."

**Author's note: Sorry it's short...can barely think of anything...so tired. It's been a _long_ week for me.**


End file.
